I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
