I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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