i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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