but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Vodka?
Forever.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
