currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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