It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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