My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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