I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
