I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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