If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Who died my cat blue again?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
