Only a mothe r could love this liver
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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