I want to make a zoo with you.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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