He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
