Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
