So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
