quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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