Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Randomize
