It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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