just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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