NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
