Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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