Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
