Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
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