I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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