forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
