that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize