discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
