I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
