Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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