im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
