My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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