my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
