I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
thus making me awesome and them whores
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
