It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
