It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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