The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
