Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
