OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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