You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
