Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm passing your future prison.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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