the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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