also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Randomize
