Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
