i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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