I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just had sex bonerless
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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