I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
