Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
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