Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
