I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
