I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
