Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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