better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
