careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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