Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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