Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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