Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
