just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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