you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
