If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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