Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
