okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
