Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
