youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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